Dating Made Easy - Or Not?
Suzan Odabasi
Issue date: 5/6/09 Section: Opinion
Even the most gender-aware college student sometimes falls back into the conventional forms of gender oppression in one area: dating. "Not another article on that feminist crap," you may think, though I would never accuse anyone of judging me right away. But, rest assured, this topic concerns men at least as much as it concerns women.
Dating norms, promoted by Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and other mainstream magazines that mention the word G-spot more often than words like intelligence or care, oppress both genders in ways that hold a person hostage in a role-whether they are comfortable in it or not.
Because it is always easier to tell people what not to do than what to do (unless, again, it's about finding the G-spot, or, in newest English, simply the G), Cosmopolitan recently published an article about things to avoid on the first date to make him yours! Maybe exclamation points could pass as phallic symbols and thereby justify their frequent appearance in Cosmo, but back to the point: in his recipe for dating success, a man lets the reader in on his top six criteria for liking a woman.
The article begins telling us what to wear-jeans and high heels, not baby doll dresses (they make you look, so says the guy, heavier or even pregnant!). So basically, this self-proclaimed dating expert tells us that a woman cannot wear what makes her feel beautiful, but has to abide by the code of dating success: jeans and high heels. Aside from the fact that there is no mention of appropriate attire for the man, the woman is told that she has to be uncomfortable and conventional in order to attract someone to her.
Next, the dating guru goes on to tell us that "When meeting a girl, a guy will go on and on about himself because he's trying to get laid." What? Not that women are already suspicious enough about any man that approaches them with potential romantic interests given that society tells them they are objects, but to say that any guy is first and foremost looking to jump into bed with a woman is just absurd. This is the point where men should realize that gender roles are at least as oppressive to them as they are to women. The article in Cosmopolitan demonstrates that myths about gender diminish trust and a healthy approach to forming a close bond between two people.
Dating norms, promoted by Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and other mainstream magazines that mention the word G-spot more often than words like intelligence or care, oppress both genders in ways that hold a person hostage in a role-whether they are comfortable in it or not.
Because it is always easier to tell people what not to do than what to do (unless, again, it's about finding the G-spot, or, in newest English, simply the G), Cosmopolitan recently published an article about things to avoid on the first date to make him yours! Maybe exclamation points could pass as phallic symbols and thereby justify their frequent appearance in Cosmo, but back to the point: in his recipe for dating success, a man lets the reader in on his top six criteria for liking a woman.
The article begins telling us what to wear-jeans and high heels, not baby doll dresses (they make you look, so says the guy, heavier or even pregnant!). So basically, this self-proclaimed dating expert tells us that a woman cannot wear what makes her feel beautiful, but has to abide by the code of dating success: jeans and high heels. Aside from the fact that there is no mention of appropriate attire for the man, the woman is told that she has to be uncomfortable and conventional in order to attract someone to her.
Next, the dating guru goes on to tell us that "When meeting a girl, a guy will go on and on about himself because he's trying to get laid." What? Not that women are already suspicious enough about any man that approaches them with potential romantic interests given that society tells them they are objects, but to say that any guy is first and foremost looking to jump into bed with a woman is just absurd. This is the point where men should realize that gender roles are at least as oppressive to them as they are to women. The article in Cosmopolitan demonstrates that myths about gender diminish trust and a healthy approach to forming a close bond between two people.
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Habiib
posted 5/06/09 @ 5:03 AM CST
the word "lame-ass" makes this article, if not for all the other insights. good work!
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